I finally tracked down Edington and apparently doxies and lacking heat for the coldest days of the season is not enough to skip rent payment this month. Which just doesn't make any fucking sense if you ask me. He also said that my fingers were blue from paint, not frostbite and that he wasn't going to let the rent go so I could pay for Mungo's either. No fucking compassion in this world any more! What happened to being kind to others, or treating them like you'd want to be treated or however those cheesy sayings go. At least I don't have to pay this months alone after all. Still, a whole flat to myself was kind of a nice luxury, while it lasted. Should probably stop walking around starkers now.

Why the hell is it so fucking COLD out!? I don't care if it's winter, it's not normal! I don't like it.

Right, I don't dislike any holiday really, but tonight is up on the list. And on that note! Come midnight, whenever I'm done with this Zen of Art thing, the flat is open for Hogmanay festivities. YES. The new year brought in like it fucking oughta be, right?

What the hell. I get kicked just trying to talk a girl up, almost trampled by a cow, beaked by a god damn swan, crapped on, and now the place is over run with ruddy clucking CHICKENS. If I wanted to live on fucking farm I wouldn't have moved into THE CITY. The city...where FUCKING SWANS AND CHICKENS DON'T LIVE.

If anybody reading this happens to work for whoever the fuck it is that makes Sword feel free to pass this message along: Let me know when you get that recipe fixed. Til then my healers suggested I not use any more. Something about I can't afford head injuries?

What the FUCK!? 70 GALLEONS?! What does he think I'm fuckin' made of? Bloody gold?!

Let me set the record straight. I know you are all worried. Chastity Shagswell? The father? It's me. Oh yeah.

Does the Cult of Margoth have holy days or anything? Other than the pancake breakfasts? And, if they are, how well-known are they? I'm just thinking...If I convert right now I wonder what my chances of convincing my boss to let me out of my shift today. I can tell him it's a day of reflection for when Margoth Swept Clean the Callous and Fired the Pancake of Peace? Yeah? I can't think of anything that deserves reflection more than something called the Pancake of Peace. Us Margoth worshippers look forward to the festive customary celebrations like eating the symbolic pancake of peace and handing out pamphlets adorned with artistic renderings of the Cleansing Fires. But, you know, festively rendered. See? I got this down pat. Margoth himself, herself...itself... wouldn't even doubt it!

I AM LOCKED IN A BUILDING AND HAVE NO ALCOHOL! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!

I NEED TO BE SOBER ABOUT AS MUCH AS I NEED FUCKING DRAGON POX!

THIS IS INHUMANE!

Happy Birthday Astoria! You gorgeous bird, you. Bet you aren't used to snow for your birthday.

I love when it snows out of season around this place.

Snowball fight! Right now. Well, more like in five minutes. Come on. JOHNSON! Rematch!

I really really hate bees! Little bastards.

Fuck it! I'm getting off this Lane and it's SWARM of ROSE-CRAZED BEES!

Man. MAN! Create a Bertie Bott's flavour? Talk about a job I could DO. All I have to do is come up with flavours? I already do that for free! What else can you do when you're hungry the day before pay day? And stuff you wouldn't ever want to taste? Even easier to come up with! Fuck, it's almost too easy.

There are doxies in Stew's books! And his typewriter! And it would all be much more exciting if I wasn't melting! Bloody fucking heat. I'm going to go crawl in the icebox. Someone get me out when autumn rolls around.

Muggle Awareness Month! Fucking hey. Ok, I admit it, I'm not actually that excited. Nothing against Muggles. There's just nothing else at the moment for me to get excited about. Had to work a whole six hours, that was trying. And I did a few dishes and shite, can you believe it Stew! Letter from home, which was unexpected but, also, not at all exciting, blah blah Dad sick blah blah bastard probably brought it on himself That leaves me with this Muggle Awareness bit. So I say embrace it! Muggles have pubs! And Muggles have ale and whisky! Anyone know a good Muggle pub? I can be a festive celebratin' yob like any other.

A clown?! A CLOWN?! What the hell?! Who lets something like that happen?! Children could have gotten scared. Or something. Clowns flying outta nowhere like that.

For the record: I think I make a pretty girl. I'd shag me.

Stew! Where are you? I gotta see this.

What's the best way to celebrate the official start of your birthday? Getting pissed!

Those cakes were really good.

I LOVE Leprechauns! THEM and their WATER!

It's GREAT

There now. It's all official like now. I am all moved in to Stew's. It was hard work, moving one flat down but I made it. Had a little help, thanks Ack! And not a single turtle got injured, though I had to shoo Donatello away with my foot a few times. Take them over Demon Spawn any day though.

Maybe it's just me but wherever Kelly's got that rum from they need to keep it coming. Maybe not every night, might get old, but I didn't mind being a pirate. Yargh. Sixteen men on a dead man's chest. Pirates have the best drinking songs, jinxed rum is worth that at least.

I do regret moving a little, 3C had always been good to me. It'll be a shame if Edington paints over the walls for the next sucker tennant. That was brilliant work, almost sad to leave it. The lure of half the rent I was paying, however, is hard to resist, man!

Hey! Mare! I'm three stories above you...still. But directly above!

Well, that was mildly entertaining. And I'm bored now. So I'm going elsewhere.

And really bad eggs.